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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29460651">Only Fools Rush In</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeny1710/pseuds/greeny1710'>greeny1710</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Chaotic Trio verse [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Bullying, Falling In Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, tiny bit of crack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:02:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29460651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeny1710/pseuds/greeny1710</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Max falls in love quickly, and he falls in love hard.</p>
<p>And yet the boy he adores doesn’t even know Max exists.</p>
<p>
  <i>Also known as: </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Five times Max pined from afar, and the one time it wasn’t pining anymore</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Chaotic Trio verse [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Only Fools Rush In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <b>CW: bullying, mentioned past suicide attempt, mentioned panic attacks, anxiety, depression, mentioned alcohol and drugs</b>
</p>
<p>So this lil idea nugget dug itself into my brain on Friday and wouldn’t let go until I wrote it, so Bon appetite u get this. It’s roughly edited and it’s long because I do not have the time to post this in any other way (but also I just don’t want to post this as little chapters because they don’t feel long enough to do that with), so yeah. I hope you enjoy </p>
<p>Literally no one asked for this, no one wanted it.</p>
<p>But I did, so you lot can suffer x</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy xx </p>
<p>
  <i>(Title comes from Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley)</i>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>February 2013 </b> </p>
<p>The first time Max Räikkönen-Vettel noticed he might not be like the other boys, or most notably, not like his brother who flirted with all the girls regardless of the fact that they were barely ten years old, was when Daniel Ricciardo graced them all with his existence. </p>
<p>Max was ten years old, sitting on a bench by himself just off the school playground and watching silently as his fellow peers ran around causing havoc, screaming, having <i>fun</i>. </p>
<p>The February wind was cold, like always, and Max pulled his blue parka jacket tighter around him. Charles was running around, in typical Charles fashion, screaming along with the rest of them until he’d fallen to a stop in a crowd of students and was being pushed around between them all. He seemed happy, and Max was glad his brother was happy. Max didn’t tend to hang around much with the other kids, especially not the way Charles did. Being in big crowds scared him and Max really hated how loud some of the other students got. </p>
<p>Instead, Max quietly pulled his book out from his jacket and started flicking to find where he’d last slid his bookmark in. Most kids his age weren’t massively into reading, but Max liked it. He didn’t really have any friends at school, but it felt like the characters in his books were his friends. </p>
<p>Charles hated reading. He wasn’t really good at it. It didn’t really matter though. </p>
<p>Charles was good at other things. He was really good at making friends, for example. </p>
<p>“NEW KID!” Charles’ voice screamed through the playground, and Max looked up just in time, eyes pulling away from reading about how Peter was going to take Wendy, John and Michael to Neverland. He watched as a storm of kids went running, immediately surrounding a slightly taller boy with dark curly hair and the most blinding smile Max had ever seen. </p>
<p>And his Dad smiled like that <i>a lot</i> too. </p>
<p>If it had been Max that was being ran at and surrounded, he’d have flinched and gotten scared at them all coming at him so fast, but the boy that had been surrounded almost seemed to revel in it. </p>
<p>Curiously, Max had sat up a bit taller, trying to look over everyone’s shoulders to see who the boy was and why he was so important, and instantly Max felt his heart stop a little bit when he saw the boy laugh. </p>
<p>He’s got insane, out of control curls, big brown eyes that Max thought were quite lovely, and a laughter that seemed to echo around the playground. </p>
<p>Gosh he was <i>really</i> pretty. </p>
<p>There was just something about the boy that commandeered so much attention and love, and even though Max was <i>far too terrified</i> to join the throes of students to meet the new boy, he seemed friendly enough. Even from a distance. </p>
<p>And he was <i>really pretty</i>. </p>
<p>Max didn’t know boys could be that pretty. </p>
<p>Charles did. He’d already gotten in lots of trouble at all of their schools for playing kiss-chase in the playground when he wasn’t allowed to, but he didn’t care. He’d kiss anyone he wanted to. He’d probably want to kiss the new boy. Charles liked kissing people. </p>
<p>The boy seemed nice, and Charles liked nice people. And mean people. And silly people. Charles just liked people and people liked Charles. </p>
<p>No one liked Max. </p>
<p>Especially not that sweet, kind looking new boy. Max knew he’d never look in Max’s direction for even a moment. </p>
<p>And when Max passed the boy in the corridor as he was running an errand for a teacher, the boy flashed him a grin, winked and said “G’day, mate”, and Max had felt his insides do flips, his cheeks flush a deep red, and barely had a chance to whisper back a “hi” before he’d let himself almost sprint away from the him. </p>
<p>The boy was a year above him, meaning that Max would only have until July to see the boy before he moved up to The Forests Academy High School with Valtteri, whilst Max stayed at The Forests Academy Primary and Nursery School for another year. </p>
<p>Sometimes the older students talked to the students in the years below, but that was only mainly when you played sport with them or liked the same games as them and Max preferred to spend time in the library or playing on the jungle gym, he didn’t really like sports all that much. There was never any reason for the boy therefore to talk to Max, or for Max to make a move and talk to him himself. </p>
<p>Even his name intimidated Max. </p>
<p>It was just so <i>cool</i> sounding, and not as weirdly foreign as Max’s felt. No one could pronounce Max’s surname, but the new boy’s name was cool even if it was unusual too. </p>
<p>It was quite nice how the new boy made Max feel a bit less weird with his name without even knowing it. </p>
<p><i>Daniel Joseph Ricciardo</i> </p>
<p>It was just so cool! </p>
<p>Max wished he had a cool name like Daniel. Max’s name was so complicated and boring, but Daniel could also say his surname in a different language like Max could with his name, so that was cool at least. </p>
<p>No one, absolutely no one at all, was surprised when Daniel Ricciardo turned out to be one of the most popular boys in the school. Max would even argue that Daniel was <i>the most</i> popular ten-year-old that had ever walked the Earth, rivalled only by Max’s own’s twin brother. </p>
<p>A twin brother that never wanted to hang around with Max. If Charles didn’t think Max was cool enough to hang around with, there was no reason for Daniel to take notice of Max beyond just passing him in the corridor or nudging their elbows together and giggling when they both had to stand at the front in assembly when they got star of the week for their classes. Star of the Week was a big deal, but for someone like Max who hated the attention, it was horrific to be singled out for doing something well in class, especially when Daniel got it just for settling into his new school so well. </p>
<p>And Daniel made friends so easily, that Max wished he could be jealous but actually he was just really happy that Daniel seemed to like their school. He was always laughing and joking, being friendly with everyone that crossed his path and would always encourage anyone to join his football matches. </p>
<p>Daniel <i>really loved</i> football from what Max could tell. He was always playing it with Jev and Jenson and George and Alex and Lewis and often Charles was playing too and he didn’t even really like sport that much. Max never joined in a game, but he liked watching sometimes. </p>
<p>Sometimes he’d sit in the jungle corner in the library and look out the windows, one of the little plush lions on his lap covered by whatever book he was reading at that moment, as he looked out at the football pitch. Daniel was normally running <i>really fast</i>, always jumping up at someone and scraping his knuckles over whoever had scored a goal’s head as a ‘fond reaction’. Sometimes Max could even hear Daniel screaming, even when the pitch was quite far away and Max was sat behind glass. </p>
<p>Daniel made watching sports fun. </p>
<p>Max knew, however, that someone cool and funny and energetic like Daniel wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like Max who much preferred sitting in the library, reading, writing silly little stories. They were just too different, and from what Max could tell, they wouldn’t have anything in common. Max tried to be interested in football, and he’d read a biography about the Manchester United team manager, but it was really boring and Max didn’t really understand football, and he’d not inherited his Dad’s love for Eintracht Frankfurt, and Isä only cared about Ice Hockey, so there was no use in asking his parents for help in understanding Manchester United, so Max had given up. </p>
<p>It didn’t matter anyway, because even if Max had understood, a boy like Daniel would not want to be friends with a boring and nerdy and lonesome boy like Max. </p>
<p>Especially not a boy like Max who got funny feelings in his tummy and blushed whenever he came into contact with Daniel – not that he understood why he felt like that. </p>
<p>Obviously, Max knew what being ‘gay’ was. He had two Dads. And he wasn’t sure if he himself was gay, but he was starting to get the impression he was. Especially when he considered how much he liked looking at Daniel because he was kind and funny and he smiled a lot, and Max had this feeling in his tummy that every day was always a little bit better when he got to see Daniel laugh. </p>
<p>And so, despite not knowing Daniel all that well anyway, Max made sure to keep his distance. Sometimes they exchanged a brief ‘hello’ when Daniel had been with Charles at lunchtime and Max had joined his twin, sitting at their lunch table with their lunchboxes and eating and chatting. Well, Charles and Daniel would be chatting with the other boys, Max would mainly just be watching and listening to the chaos that came with his brother and smiling at the silly jokes Daniel made. </p>
<p>The only person in their school who didn’t seem to really like Daniel was Valtteri, but that was probably just because sometimes Daniel could convince Charles to join him for some mischief (not that it took much convincing, Charles was always up for causing trouble) and Valtteri didn’t like it when his brothers (mainly Charles, he was the troublemaker after all) got into trouble. But even still they got along somewhat and Max had wished he’d had the confidence to try and make friends with Daniel in the five months that they’d been in the same school. </p>
<p>And that year when Max had been in a different school, no longer able to longingly stare at Daniel from afar, that was a year that Max didn’t enjoy. </p>
<p>It didn’t help matters either that he was diagnosed with anxiety that year. </p>
<p><b>September 2014</b> </p>
<p>Part of Max had expected that the move up to The Forests Academy High School, where he’d no longer be one of the oldest kids in the school, but instead be a small, weedy, nervous little kid, would mean that these <i>feelings</i> towards Daniel Ricciardo would go away. </p>
<p>You couldn’t be <i>gay</i> at high school. That was peak bullying material. Max already struggled so much with not wanting to be perceived, that he vehemently was hoping he’d be able to hide the fact that he looked at the boys from his cohort sometimes. </p>
<p>Only Max should’ve known that the feelings of adoration towards Daniel wouldn’t have gone away. </p>
<p>And Daniel, bless him, only made them worse by being so kind and sweet to a lost Max, that Max felt those feelings of innocent childish love grow. </p>
<p>Of course it was almost fate that on the first day of school, after Max had been kept behind to talk with his maths teacher about making his work harder, he’d ended up late to his science lesson and also had no idea which way to go. He stood instead in the middle of the corridor, already lost between whether he was meant to go to the blue area or the green area. They’d been told what section of their school was for each colour, and yet Max couldn’t remember.</p>
<p>And he remembered <i>everything</i>. </p>
<p>They’d been told that the humanities subjects were in the purple area, languages were in red, technology was in orange, maths was in yellow. Max knew the rest of them. It was just English and science that he was getting confused over which one was green and which one was blue. </p>
<p>It was so hecking complicated and Max really felt like crying in the middle of the corridor. Maybe he should go and hide in the toilets and pray that his science teacher doesn’t notice that Max was missing. And then he could use his breaktime to do a lap of the school and commit every single classroom number to memory so that he’d always know where he needed to be. It’s not like Max would have any friends to hang out with at breaktime and he was definitely not going to be going to get a break snack because the idea of eating made him want to throw up. </p>
<p>Dad had made sure that Max took his anxiety medication before he left this morning, but right now Max would wish for nothing more than his Dad to be around because he really did not feel good. Everything was racing really fast around his head and he felt really close to crying and he didn’t know what to do. </p>
<p>There were no staff members around for Max to ask where he needed to go either, and he definitely did not want to knock on another classroom door and ask because that would just make things worse. It would make his anxiety worse. </p>
<p> Instead, Max stood in the corridor, plain white walls constricting around him and the dark carpeted flooring wobbling underneath him like Max was stood on his Ukki’s boat again in the middle of the ocean, fingers clutching onto his printed paper timetable so hard he was almost sure he’d rip it. </p>
<p>He just didn’t know where he was going and he was so confused and he really didn’t like the big school and he really needed Charles but Charles wasn’t in his class because Max was much smarter than Charles and he wasn’t allowed to go on his phone and his school tie felt like it was being pulled tightly around his neck until he was being strangled and it was as though-</p>
<p>“You alright, mate?” someone’s voice cut through, and Max spun around to see Daniel Ricciardo walking out of the toilets. Daniel stared at Max for a moment, before repeating “You alright?”. </p>
<p>“Um, I don’t know where I’m going,” Max quietly said, blinking hard to try and push the tears back that he knew were brewing in his eyes. </p>
<p>He <i>refused</i> to cry in front of Daniel Ricciardo. </p>
<p>Daniel was <i>super cool</i> and he didn’t want Daniel to think that Max was a baby who cried easily. </p>
<p>Which he was, but Daniel didn’t need to know that. </p>
<p>“Where are you meant to be?” Daniel asked, walking up to Max and smiling gently at him. </p>
<p>“Um, science, room 4. I’m supposed to be with Mr Häkkinen, but I got kept behind by Mr Bonnington to talk about maths and now I’m confused because I don’t know where I’m meant to go and I’m late to class.”</p>
<p>“Why’d you get held back by Bono? He’s normally chill,” Daniel asked. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t bad, we were just talking about maths and the homework.” Max’s voice was shaking slightly as he tried to avoid jumping his leg or scratching his hand to try and deal with his anxiety. He knew Daniel probably already thought Max was weird because he was nearly crying over being lost, there was no way Max was going to make Daniel think he was even weirder by using his coping mechanisms (admittedly the hand scratching one wasn’t a good one, his Dads were still working on training Max not to use that mechanism). </p>
<p>“Bono gave you homework already?! Jeez, he doesn’t wait around, fuck,” Daniel laughed and Max flinched at the swear word falling so casually from Daniel’s lips. Swearing was strictly prohibited at their school, and anyone who was caught swearing could face a swift detention, but clearly Daniel didn’t care. </p>
<p>He clearly didn’t care for school rules much anyway, as it was only the first day of school and Daniel was already breaking all of the school rules when it came to his uniform. He wasn’t wearing his black blazer, which was mandatory if you was walking around campus, his top button on his school shirt was unbuttoned and his tie was hanging much looser than it should. Never mind the fact that Daniel had his sleeves rolled up, which Max was dutifully ignoring because he was eleven and he shouldn’t find that cute but apparently Daniel looked really nice like that. He’d also swapped his black slacks for black skinny jeans and was wearing black leather converse instead of school shoes like he should’ve been. </p>
<p>Maybe the Daniel Max had known wasn’t the same Daniel that now stood before him. </p>
<p>Maybe this Daniel was a rebel, a naughty kid, someone that liked getting in trouble. <br/>Getting in trouble scared Max. </p>
<p>“Do you want me to take you to Mr Häkkinen’s class? It won’t take long,” Daniel asked when Max just stared at him blankly. </p>
<p>“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”</p>
<p>“Nah, well, yeah, but it’s only French. You know Ms Deveraux? Have you met her yet?”</p>
<p>“I think she’s my brother’s tutor.”</p>
<p>“God help him, she’s so annoying. Anyway, I’m in her French class and she’s driving me up the wall so I said I needed bathroom and so I’m taking as long as possible before going back to class. We’re conjugating verbs and it’s so fucking weird. I hate French. Anyway, come on, I’ll take you,” Daniel nodded his head down the corridor and started walking, not bothering to look back and see if Max was following as he carried on babbling, “I seriously don’t get why I need French, you know? <i>And</i> I have to study German as well, it’s so annoying. I hate German.”</p>
<p>“I’m German,” Max quietly whispered.</p>
<p>“Oh shit I’m sorry, I didn’t, I didn’t mean I hate Germans or the language, or like, I dunno, I didn’t mean it like <i>that</i>. I just meant that my German teacher makes me want to claw my eyes out. He’s the worst. It’s nothing against German,” Daniel quickly tried to explain, fingers fiddling with the point of his black and yellow stripped tie. “German is actually a pretty cool language, it’s so confusing, but like I said, my teacher’s shit, so it doesn’t make learning it fun.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Max smiled softly, looking down at his feet as they walked. Daniel took longer strides because he was slightly taller than Max and so Max occasionally had to do a little jog to keep up with him. </p>
<p>“Anyway, before I offend you again, I’ll tell you now. Science is blue, so if you- actually, you got a pen?” Daniel asked and Max nodded, pulling his favourite black pen from his inside blazer pocket and handing it over to Daniel. Daniel took Max’s timetable off of him without asking and turned to the wall, leaning against it as he scribbled across the back of Max’s timetable. </p>
<p>“So science is blue, English literature and English language are both in the green corridor, humanities is religion, geography and history, and they’re all in the purple section. Technology is orange and that’s all your cooking classes, woodwork, electronics, product design, textiles, art, and graphic design and also drama and music for some reason, Languages has French, German, Spanish, and Latin and is the red corridor, and if you take after school Italian, Russian, Polish or oh fuck I don’t know the other one, it’s um, fuck, I don’t know, there’s another language anyway, you want to be in the red corridor. Oh computing is also in the tech corridor, so that’s orange too. What else is there?” Daniel explained, looking back at his scribbles before diving in again, “Oh yeah, maths, yeah maths is the yellow corridor but you probably already know that because you was there a second ago. Business is a humanity, so if you take business in year ten or eleven you’ll be there. Psychology is in blue, but you’ll learn that shit when you grow up.”</p>
<p>Max had stopped paying attention fully to what Daniel was saying. He’d gotten lost trying to keep up with Daniel telling him what classes fell under what bracket and where they were, and Max didn’t really care.</p>
<p>Well, he did. Because he didn’t want to get lost again.</p>
<p>What he actually cared about was that Daniel had a really nice voice to listen to babble away and Max could feel himself falling a little bit more for him in the way that eleven year olds do when they have a crush. </p>
<p>Instead of focusing on his growing feelings for Daniel, Max watched as Daniel kept on scribbling what classes were in each corridor and asked him a question. </p>
<p>“You swear a lot, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“Force of habit, ‘cause I’m Aussie,” Daniel grinned, winking at Max over his shoulder, “well, I’m Aussie and Italian, so I swear a lot but I swear with love in my heart, you know what I mean?”</p>
<p>“I guess so yeah,” Max laughed, trying to push down that wave of warmth running through his blood. </p>
<p>Stay cool, Max, play it cool. Just because <i>Daniel Ricciardo</i> winked at you doesn’t mean it means anything. Play it cool. He’s older than you. A year eight doesn’t want to be friends with a year seven.</p>
<p>“Oh shit, I know you,” Daniel said as he turned Max’s timetable around and saw Max’s name printed across the top. “You went to Forests Primary, right? You’re Charles’ brother, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>Max nodded as he took the timetable and his pen back, their fingers briefly touching and Max ignored the spark of electricity that jumped through them both. Instead he slid both the items into his blazer pockets and put his hands around his black backpack straps. Daniel leaned back into the wall as he looked at Max, putting his foot up against it and rolling his head back with his arms folded behind his back. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Max confirmed, swallowing thickly, “Charles is my twin brother.”</p>
<p>“I thought I remembered you. I mean, I definitely remember Charles, he’s impossible to forget, so I remember you hanging around with him sometimes, and Valtteri is your guys older brother, isn’t he?”</p>
<p>“Yep, yep he’s our brother, he’s your year,” Max nodded, mind full with the knowledge that <i>Daniel Ricciardo</i> knew who Max was. </p>
<p><i>Daniel Ricciardo</i> was aware of Max’s existence!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah I remember him. Really quiet, isn’t he? Like you?” Daniel smiled as he ran his fingers through his curls, ruffling them messily in a way that made Max gulp audibly. </p>
<p>Holy moly Daniel was <i>really cute</i>. </p>
<p>“You’re really quiet, aren’t you, Max?”</p>
<p>“I guess so.”</p>
<p>“Hmm, you’re cute,” Daniel laughed, shaking his head softly before pushing off the wall and nodding his head for Max to continue following him. </p>
<p>Max might actually pass away, this was too much.</p>
<p><i>Daniel Ricciardo</i> thought Max was cute!</p>
<p>Daniel opened a door for Max to walk through, and Max smiled embarrassedly when Daniel bowed and said ‘enchanté’ before Max walked through. They walked down the corridor a little bit, passing a small computer lab and rooms 1, 2 and 3 before stopping next to room 4. </p>
<p>“Valtteri’s a hockey player, isn’t he? He doesn’t like football?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, hockey, he’s Finnish so yeah, he was brought up with ice hockey more than he was football.”</p>
<p>“That’s a real shame,” Daniel said solemnly, “I need another player for the football team and I was hoping I could sneak him on. Ah well, I’ll just keep asking around. Anyway, let’s get you into class.”</p>
<p>Max watched as Daniel banged his fist on the door and opened it before Mr Häkkinen gave him permission to. </p>
<p>Yeah, Max realised, Daniel really didn’t care about the rules.</p>
<p>“Hey Mr Häkkinen, I’ve got one of your year sevens for you. He got lost because Mr Bonnington kept him behind,” Daniel explained, walking further into the class so that Max could pass by him and enter himself, “I’m sorry he’s late, Sir, but that’s on Mr Bonnington for finally learning how to speak and keeping our little Max Räikkönen-Vettel behind.”</p>
<p>“Watch the cheek, Ricciardo, if you’re not careful Mr Coulthard will take that captain position from you,” Mr Häkkinen reprimanded, however Daniel’s grin only grew and he shrugged lightly in response. </p>
<p>“Nah, Mr Coulthard loves me, he wouldn’t do that. Anyway, I’ll see you fifth period, Sir, you’ve got the pleasure of my company this year!”</p>
<p>“Mr Prost mourns your loss from his classroom already,” Mr Häkkinen muttered, throwing an eraser at Daniel’s head. Daniel laughed and ducked just in time to avoid being hit square in the middle of his forehead with the eraser. </p>
<p>“I’ll see you around anyway, Max,” Daniel grinned, winking at him again before walking off, the lab door shutting loudly behind him.</p>
<p>Max was really starting to get the impression that dramatic entrance and exits really were Daniel’s favourite thing in the world. No wonder him and Charles got along. </p>
<p>For a moment, Max stood at the front, waiting to be told by Mr Häkkinen where he was supposed to go and sit but also because he was absolutely routed to position as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. </p>
<p>He barely even knew Daniel and yet all it took was a wink, a cheeky grin, and him being kind and Max was positive that he had a little crush on him. </p>
<p>“Hi Max, if you want to go and take a seat next to Callum on the free stool that would be great. Here’s your workbook, if you can just write your name, and the information on the board on the front of it that would be great,” Mr Häkkinen said happily and Max nodded, shakily taking the workbook in hand and slipping onto the only free stool in the class. </p>
<p>There weren’t many people in the class, only room for about ten students, which Max knew was one of the only perks of private schools. His Dads’ paid nearly £7000 every four months for Max and each of his brothers to attend this school, and Max knew that when you paid that much, private school education meant that there was a lot less people in your classes. </p>
<p>Callum awkwardly smiled at Max and waved as Max sat down, with Max doing the same as he slid his backpack off and to his feet before pulling his pen from his pocket and started doing as Mr Häkkinen asked. </p>
<p>Whilst he did that, he let Mr Häkkinen voice completely wash over him, Max instead allowed for his mind to drift away to Daniel again. </p>
<p>He’d known he was gay for pretty much as long as he’d understood what being gay was and what a crush was. He’d still not come out to his parents, and being only eleven with your first minor crush being on the most popular boy in the lower school probably wasn’t the right time to do so. And yet as Max sat in his chemistry class and listened to Mr Häkkinen ramble about electrons and neutrons and protons, all stuff Max already knew, Max had thought instead about the way his skin was still on fire from Daniel brushing his fingers against Max’s when he’d passed the pen back. It had been accidental, but when Max looked down at his hand, it was almost like he could see the spot where Daniel’s tanned skin had touched Max’s own pale skin. </p>
<p>Yep, there was no denying it. </p>
<p>Max definitely had a crush on Daniel Ricciardo. </p>
<p><b>July 2016</b> </p>
<p>“Räikkönen’s so weedy,” someone laughed as they pushed past Max, shoving him into the wall as they walked through the corridor. </p>
<p>Max flinched as his body connected with the wall, Daniel’s friends laughing loudly as they stalked past him. Pain had shot up Max’s elbow as he’d hit the wall, barely able to avoid his head slamming into it too, just narrowly managing to move his body so that his side took the brunt of the hit and not his head. There was no way he planned on nearly getting himself knocked out by this lot. </p>
<p>He couldn’t really understand why Daniel was friends with these people. </p>
<p>Even Charles, who was an absolute asshole 24/7, wasn’t this bad, and yet these fuckers constantly made fun of Max and how quiet he was. </p>
<p>Daniel never did, because Daniel was still nice. Sometimes he’d look over at Max when they’re in the cafeteria collecting lunch and will smile or nod, but neither of them ever bothered to initiate conversation. </p>
<p>Not that Max ever would. </p>
<p>He didn’t have the confidence to talk to someone as popular as Daniel, especially not considering that Daniel’s friends didn’t like Max. And also the fact that Max still got ‘gay panic’ around Daniel and he’d clam up and freeze whenever he’d see Daniel, so the chance for Max to be ‘cool’ and ‘woo’ Daniel with how fucking boring Max was never happened. </p>
<p>It had been three and a half years since Daniel Ricciardo had moved to England and started at Max’s school, and over those years, Max’s crush on Daniel had only grown.</p>
<p>He’d never felt anything for anyone else at his school, never crushed on anyone else even though George was really pretty, and so was Lewis, and so was Antonio who was Charles’ friend. There was lots of really pretty boys at their school, but no one was quite as pretty as Daniel, and Max wished Daniel would look in his direction for more than two seconds and indulge in Max’s imaginary life in which he got to date <i>Daniel Ricciardo</i>.</p>
<p>He never would, he’d always known that. </p>
<p>Daniel had a different girlfriend every couple of months, and Max had respectfully just pined from afar, wishing he’d been lucky enough to date Daniel when he never would. </p>
<p>It wasn’t just that he knew Daniel wouldn’t want to date him, but also his anxiety liked to remind him that even if Daniel did ever declare that he liked boys, he wouldn’t like a boy like Max. </p>
<p>Max was quiet. He liked being by himself. He didn’t really have friends and he spent all of his free-time in the library, either reading or studying. His teachers adored Max because he always got top grades, getting higher grades than anyone in his year group ever had and Max was going to be studying his Maths, Physics, Chemistry and English Literature GCSEs next year when he turned fourteen rather than waiting until he was sixteen purely because he wasn’t being challenged enough. His Dads had done a parent’s evening in year seven, back when Max was still a tiny little twelve year old, and had given permission for Max to work at an accelerated education rate purely because Max found his school work too easy.  </p>
<p>Daniel didn’t do that. Daniel was a <i>normal</i> kid who played football (which he was <i>very</i> good at, Max would like to note), and had friends, and got in trouble in his lessons for being cheeky. </p>
<p>Daniel was so normal. </p>
<p>He didn’t want someone like Max. </p>
<p>Someone like Max had to deal with staying up late all the time, studying deep into the night to figure out his school work, staying up until the early hours of the morning and not going to sleep up 3 or 4am and then waking up at 6am to either keep studying or so that he could shower. Just because he remembered the concepts and could figure out the answers quicker than most people, it didn’t mean that Max understood the theory. </p>
<p>Max hated not knowing things. </p>
<p>It left him feeling defenceless, stupid, weak</p>
<p>
  <i>Boring</i>
</p>
<p>That’s what Daniel’s friends called Max. </p>
<p>They all said Max was boring, a nerd, a weirdo, a loner.</p>
<p>
  <i>A freak</i>
</p>
<p>Daniel never said anything, but he never stopped them either. </p>
<p>Max knew he wasn’t popular, he knew he didn’t have friends, he knew he was strange. </p>
<p>It would just be nice if the other kids didn’t pick on him all the time for it. Sometimes Daniel would nudge them and tell them to calm down a bit, but he never really cared all too much. </p>
<p>“I heard he’s gay,” someone else muttered as they walked past Max in the corridor, scoffing as Max tried to huddle himself as close into the wall as he possibly could and keep his head down so that no one could see him. It didn’t work, clearly, but he still tried. </p>
<p>It was always better to not be perceived. </p>
<p>“Bet he’s got a crush on Daniel,” someone, probably Jenson, laughed, “little weirdo like him think he’s got a chance with someone like Daniel? Charles has got more chance than he ever would.”</p>
<p>“Yeah but Daniel’s not gay, is he?” one of the girl’s said and Max felt his heart shatter into pieces at his feet. </p>
<p>Of course Max knew that Daniel liked girls. Everyone at their school knew Daniel liked girls. He’d kissed most girls in his year and the year above, and even a few girls in Max’s year group had been lucky enough to kiss Daniel. </p>
<p>Max never had. </p>
<p>All Max got instead was mental health problems and an insane infatuation with a boy that probably didn’t even really take notice of Max’s existence. Not really. </p>
<p>Daniel had known who Max was at one point in their lives, but now there was hundreds of more interesting people for Daniel to know and care about, and it’s not like Max ever went to the football matches to support Daniel. </p>
<p>Max didn’t like crowds. He didn’t like the noise. </p>
<p>His mind was already a noisy and terrifying place, Max didn’t need to deal with the discomfort of more screaming from other students. Even the cafeteria was way too noisy for Max most days. </p>
<p>Every pulse of noise that would hit him would send shockwaves of pain through him, heightening his anxiety and sending Max on edge in a way that he’d never learnt to control. </p>
<p>His therapist, Matthew, had tried a lot to help Max with the stress he felt surrounding crowds and loud noises, however they’d eventually determined that thanks to that spicy childhood trauma Max lived with, it wasn’t an easy fix. It would’ve been easier for Max to work through had he had more support in the form of friends at school, but he didn’t. </p>
<p>All Max had was his studies and his pining for Daniel. </p>
<p>Daniel, the sweet and funny boy, who was now wearing braces, had a <i>terrible</i> fashion sense and constantly got in trouble for wearing hoodies under his school blazer and skinny jeans instead of the regulatory black slacks they were supposed to. Daniel was just wonderful, and Max wished he could learn more about Daniel beyond the rumours that spread like wildfire around their school about him. </p>
<p>Maybe if Max had the time, he could try and befriend Daniel. </p>
<p>The world had different plans though. </p>
<p>The world, well, actually Max’s school, wanted Max’s life to revolve around his education and make sure he could get the best out of it that he possible could, and Max wanted that too. He wanted to prove that despite having an amazing memory, he still put the work in to understanding the subjects. </p>
<p>If someone had paid attention, had noticed the way that Max’s crush on Daniel was no longer all Max thought about but instead fixated on school to an incredibly unhealthy degree, maybe year ten wouldn’t have gone quite as badly as it did. </p>
<p>Why drop subjects and focus on being a normal teenager with a crush who wanted to make friends, when you could hyper fixate on education and take on more and more work, slowly eliminating any chance of your brain slowing down, but instead sending it into an overdrive to the point that you epically crashed and burned a year later as you worked yourself to death? Almost literally. </p>
<p>There was no time to fixate on how he wished he could date Daniel when he was busy trying to stop that from happening. </p>
<p>There was no time to fixate on his crush on Daniel when school was sending Max’s brain spiralling into a place that by the time Max had turned fifteen, things took a <i>very dark turn</i>, and Daniel Ricciardo really was the last thing on Max’s mind. </p>
<p>That’s when you knew shit was bad. </p>
<p><b>January 2018</b> </p>
<p>Honestly the less said about this time the better, in Max’s opinion. </p>
<p>It was not a pretty fucking time.</p>
<p>All of the attention that Max used to give Daniel was instead focused onto his recovery and trying to learn to manage the fact that he’d tried to commit suicide unsuccessfully, and spending his days hanging out with his parents and a therapist. </p>
<p>And writing fanfiction, apparently.</p>
<p>It was an old hobby he’d loosely entertained when he was younger, never realising that writing stories about the characters in the storybooks he read constituted fanfiction, but he’d also read a fair bit over the years, and apparently trying to unalive yourself dragged you back down it and Max was logging himself into Archive of our Own like he’d never left. </p>
<p>And of course, in typical ‘being related to Charles’ fashion, Max used his time in the most bizarre way and ended up writing a 500,000 word fic about Jesus and Judas based on Charles’ random decision making skills. </p>
<p>In a way, Max was weirdly proud of Charles for pushing him to do something so insanely bizarre. </p>
<p>He’d been off school for four weeks, no Daniel to look at and feel better with and instead he’d rewritten the bible just because he could. Charles wasn’t impressed when he found out purely because he felt as though Jesus and John had more chemistry, but Max had always been a sucker for enemies to lovers even if he had tagged it with a major character death because... well... you know. Max didn’t want to be accused of giving out spoilers for the bible. </p>
<p>It was yet another fierce reminder to Max just how different he and Daniel were though.</p>
<p>When Max came back to school after his extended winter break (a week and a half later than everyone else did considering what Max had done to himself), the first thing he’d seen had been his twin brother on Daniel’s back, with Daniel running down the corridor. Mr Coulthard, the deputy head teacher for years 10 and 11, and Mrs Williams, the head teacher of the school, were chasing them both down. Daniel and Charles’ loud laughter was echoing off every surface, painting the world in a sheen of light that tugged the darkness from Max’s head. </p>
<p>And also forced those feelings for Daniel to resurface far too easily. </p>
<p>Max was more than a little embarrassed that he’d been crushing on this boy for the past five years. </p>
<p>God he hoped Daniel never found out. </p>
<p>Daniel would probably be really grossed out by Max having a crush on him, especially when he realised that Max had been crushing on him from the very first time that Max had ever locked eyes on him. </p>
<p>That was <i>so weird</i> and really not normal at all. </p>
<p>Daniel would want someone like Charles. Someone who was confident and funny and was apparently allowed to wrap his legs around Daniel’s waist and be carried by the school football captain. </p>
<p>Max wasn’t jealous. Honestly. </p>
<p>He just kind of hated that Charles got to do that and Max wasn’t allowed to. </p>
<p>However, Max garnered that that was probably because there was a lot of things that Charles was allowed to do that Max wasn’t. You know, like sleeping around with anyone that consents to it, drinking, partying, getting in trouble and failing his classes because it was <i>fun</i> to him. </p>
<p>Max knew Charles had been sleeping around for a while, that he loved going to parties and getting drunk and sleeping with whoever he fancied and was willing, and Max honestly would not be surprised if he found out Daniel was one of them.</p>
<p>Daniel loved parties too. It was yet another thing that easily separated Max and Daniel. </p>
<p>Max hated parties. They were too loud, too crowded, they made him feel anxious and Max didn’t like alcohol. Plus, normally there was weed at these parties and he knew Charles never smoked it but he didn’t like being around drugs, and Max easily would rather stay far, far, far away.</p>
<p>Staying far away from everything left Max ousted at one of the quiet ones, and he’d grown used to his own company over the years. He barely spoke with Charles, only ever talking to his brother at school when Charles needed something or Max was hiding in the toilets having a panic attack because that’s what he did.</p>
<p>Daniel was too confident, too happy. When he ran through the corridors with bright laughter, the sunshine followed him.</p>
<p>He was a piece of gold in a world of silver.</p>
<p>Daniel was different.</p>
<p>He stood out from the crowd and Max always smiled when he saw that absolute goofball smiling and laughing and ribbing his friends. </p>
<p>He still got that fuzzy little feeling in his tummy every single time that he’d hear Daniel’s laughter, just like he had that first time in year 5. </p>
<p>Time changed many things. </p>
<p>It made you grow up. It changed how you looked. It changed who you spoke to. It changed most things. </p>
<p>Max didn’t believe in God. He wasn’t religious in any way. </p>
<p>But he was quite thankful, as he stood there in that corridor, mental health in a spiral of pain and darkness that left him feeling more isolated than ever, that time had kept one thing the same. </p>
<p>Daniel Ricciardo’s laughter. </p>
<p>Charles and Daniel’s laughter slowly died down as they turned the corner of the English block to head into the science corridor, and Max shook his head as he turned on his heel and started walking towards the humanities corridor. </p>
<p>Tutor was first period and Max nodded a hello to Miss Davies, his personal tutor, as he took his seat at the back of class, slinging his black backpack on the floor and sliding his coat off as he sat on the cold purple plastic chairs. </p>
<p>Not many other students were in yet, and Max pulled out some physics homework to get on with as they waited for the rest of Max’s group to wander in. </p>
<p>Max tapped his pencil against his work book as he tried to figure out the answer. He could feel Miss Davies eyes on the top of Max’s head as he slumped down in his seat, watching his every move to see if he was about to start having a meltdown. </p>
<p>There’d already been a few meetings about Max over the past couple of weeks to prepare Max’s teachers for him coming back after an unsuccessful attempt at ending things, and Max knew he had to be prepared to be watched every second of the day now, its how things were now. It didn’t mean he liked it though, and so he slumped lower, reading the question again and trying to ignore the way that his school blazer and tie constricted him even more than it always did. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Q. 1.5: Discuss whether an escape lane containing gravel or an escape ramp would provide the safer experience for the driver of the lorry vehicle as it comes to rest. [1 mark]</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i> The gravel escape lane would be conducive to a safer experience for a lorry driver as lorries do not have breaks and so should a lorry stop on the escape ramp, it would roll backwards as it does not have any breaks.</i>
</p>
<p>Max was just about to start on the next question when he felt his phone buzzing in his blazer pockets. </p>
<p>Miss Davies was currently distracted from watching Max, instead answering some form of email, probably, and so Max slipped his phone out of his pocket and hid it under the desk, rolling his eyes at the text message that was waiting for him on his home screen. He chanced a look up, however Miss Davies was still distracted and Max tapped at his iPhone to open the chat between himself and that stupid sibling of his.</p>
<p></p><div class="phone">
  <p class="messagebody">
<span class="header"> Charles </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="time"><b>Today</b> 08:49 </span> <br/>
<span class="text"> need a favour</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> What have you done? </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> nothing bad </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> just need u to help me cover up to dad that im back on school report for causing shit with dan ricciardo this morning </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> Love how you say that’s ‘nothing bad’ </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> stfu dickhead and cover for me</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> And I’d do that for you, why?</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> bc ur my brother and ull do whatever I tell u to </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> but also bc i am the holder of some interesting info i think ud want to know </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> What? </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> promise ull cover for me first and then ill tell u</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> Fine. I promise to cover for you to Dad. But if he finds out I’m not getting involved</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> oh hes defo gonna find out</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> i just need some time to plan a cover before he does </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> and get isä on my side bc i know he’ll be fine wit it its just dad getting his knickers in a twist </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> Charles. What is the information you are holding? </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> ur still crushing on ricciardo arent u </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> That better not be the fucking information you have </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> no no no </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> just checking before i told u </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> Just tell me the news, Charles. You’re so annoying. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> danny ric is bisexual :) </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> What???? </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> dans bi. its why we was messing about </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> his bf broke up with him nd he was sad so I was cheering him up and we got into too much trouble lmao </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> He’s into boys… </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> raging bisexual babe hes just as bad as me </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> Well we all know that’s impossible </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> stfu wanker im doing u a public service so u dont try to top urself again now uve got smth to look forward too </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> also feel like its obvs but hes not out to anyone really yet so just keep it to urself okay dont tell him i told u </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> like apparently hes done dares kissing boys so he thinks his mates know but nothing official yet </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> I wouldn’t tell anyone anyway. I’m not even out myself, Charles </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> max i say this with love but everyone and their fuckin dog knows ur gay so u dont need to come out </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> WHAT </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> dont worry about it </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT?! CHARLES I AM DEPRESSED AND HAVE ANXIETY. I ONLY KNOW HOW TO WORRY </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> stop fkin yelling jfc its 9am and ive got a hangover so stop yelling </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> also u have flat affect emotions bc of ur depression stfu u dont know how to worry </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> Did you miss the part where I have anxiety? </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text"> lmao forgot that bit </span><br/>
<br/>
</p>
</div>“That better not be a phone I see, Max Räikkönen-Vettel,” Miss Davies said, eyebrow raised as she looked at Max.<p>Max’s cheeks instantly darkened and he shook his head, locking his phone and sliding it into his trouser pocket. </p>
<p>“No, Miss.”</p>
<p>“Hmm, thought not.”</p>
<p>Max smiled at her awkwardly before looking back at his workbook. </p>
<p>Yeah sorry, kinetic energy physics, but you are now the last thing on Max’s mind. </p>
<p><i>Daniel Ricciardo</i> likes boys. He’s into boys. He’s had a boyfriend. He’s <i>bisexual</i>. </p>
<p>Maybe Max would have a chance one day…</p>
<p>He just had to figure out how to talk to boys and then <i>maybe</i> he could try and say hello to Daniel Ricciardo one day. </p>
<p><b>September 2019</b> </p>
<p>Turns out <i>‘one day’</i> means a year and a half later. </p>
<p>It was the Friday of the first week back at school, Friday 6th September 2019 if you wanted to be precise, and Max was shaking as he walked to the school reception. </p>
<p>He was supposed to have been in German class, however they’d barely gotten the register out of the way before Max had asked permission to leave class and gone into the toilets for twenty minutes so he could have a panic attack. </p>
<p>There was no particular rhyme or reason for why Max’s brain had decided it was meltdown time, but Max had also learnt to stop questioning his brain at this point. </p>
<p>Charles was on a free period, however when he’d failed to answer the phone to Max calling him, he knew it meant that his brother was probably in another toilet or some other hidden corner of the sixth form block and was most likely having some form of sexual contact with another student. Normally, Charles was pretty good at answering his phone when Max rang him, but since they’d started year twelve on Wednesday, he’d gotten worse at giving a shit about Max and didn’t seem to care about answering his phone. </p>
<p>Instead, Max had ended up on the phone with Isä, who helpfully reminded Max that the reason why he’d probably had a panic attack was due to the fact that he’d forgotten to take his medication take that morning. </p>
<p>In Max’s defence, he was a little busy being anxious this morning and trying to remember where his biology textbook was to remember his anxiety medication. It was a vicious circle. </p>
<p>Kimi had promised to come and drop Max’s spare box of meds off so that he could take it but also to keep in his backpack in case situations like this happened again. That’s how Max ended up bumping into <i>Daniel Ricciardo</i>, of course. </p>
<p>It seemed like all of the encounters Max would have alone with Daniel would include Max either crying or looking close to crying. </p>
<p>Max had just walked through the double doors to bring him to the reception, looking down at his feet and focusing on his breathing when he felt himself collide with someone and arms shoot out to grab him to stop him from falling over. </p>
<p>“Shit, sorry, mate, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” a very familiar, at least to Max, voice said. </p>
<p>“Sorry,” Max whispered back, voice cracking as he shrugged Daniel’s hands off him. The feeling of people touching him, even though his hoodie and coat, made Max feel as though thousands of tiny wasps were attacking his skin, endlessly dragging against him until all he could feel was the burns and bruises of his childhood again. </p>
<p>“Nah, nah, nah, don’t worry, mate, that was my fault, are you alright?”</p>
<p>Max nodded shakily, even though he knew his breath was hitching and his hands were violently shaking as he wiped his sleeve over his nose. </p>
<p>“Do you need something? Do you need some water?” Daniel asked and Max nodded. “Here.”</p>
<p> Max looked up with watery eyes to see Daniel Ricciardo smiling back at him softly, holding out a water bottle for him. </p>
<p><i>Daniel’s</i> water bottle. </p>
<p>“I literally just filled it up with fresh water and I haven’t drunk from it today. And I also don’t have any diseases so you’re fine to use it if you need to,” Daniel smiled. “Would it help if I unscrewed it for you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Max whispered. </p>
<p>Daniel did so without complaint and handed it back to Max. Tentatively, Max took it off him and had gentle sips, trying to avoid choking on the water rushing through his system. </p>
<p>“Hey, let’s sit down, will that help?” Daniel asked and Max shrugged. He didn’t know what would help. Normally he had Charles by his side and Charles dealt with this shit. It wasn’t in Max’s wheelhouse of information right now. </p>
<p>“Did someone upset you? Has something happened?” Daniel tried as they took a seat on some small waiting room chairs. </p>
<p>“No, I’m okay, I just, um…”</p>
<p>“You have anxiety, don’t you? Is it that?” Daniel said and Max nodded. </p>
<p>Of course Daniel knew about Max’s anxiety. </p>
<p>Everyone and their bloody mother knew about Max’s anxiety at this school. </p>
<p>Admittedly, it was Max’s fault because he’d had numerous panic attacks in public at school and also he was related to the boy that couldn’t keep a fucking secret, so everyone was made aware of it pretty quickly that Max was diagnosed with anxiety. </p>
<p>Cheers for that one Charles…</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t know what that’s like, so I’m not going to pretend I do, but is there anything I can do for you, or would it help if I left you alone?” Daniel quietly said. </p>
<p>Max took another sip of the water and shrugged. “I don’t want to keep you, don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>“I’m waiting for Mrs Williams to see me. I got in trouble so…” Daniel smirked, dropping his elbow onto his knee and scrubbing his hand across his stubble. </p>
<p>“What did you do?”</p>
<p>“I… I didn’t do anything.”</p>
<p>“My dad’s a lawyer. He’d say that’s an admission of guilt.”</p>
<p>“Nah nah nah nah nah, no evidence, no evidence. I’m clean.” Daniel winked cheekily and Max giggled as he wiped eyes from the tears. “I swear, Max, I’m a good boy, I’d never be naughty.”</p>
<p>“What did you do?”</p>
<p>“I did nothing!” Daniel protested, elbowing Max lightly, “Why do you assume I’m a bad guy?!”</p>
<p>“I don’t, I just don’t trust you.”</p>
<p>Daniel dramatically grabbed at his heart and fell backwards off the chair, rolling onto the floor at Max’s feet and crying out “my fair maiden! You break my heart!”</p>
<p>“I’m not your maiden,” Max laughed. </p>
<p>“Because you betrayed me!”</p>
<p>“We don’t know each other!”</p>
<p>“I’ve seen you around! That’s close enough! You know, in Shakespeare’s days, that would be enough for a marriage. Seeing each other once.”</p>
<p>“Oh now you’re marrying me?” Max asked, cocking his head to stare at Daniel who went still. </p>
<p>“Um-“ Daniel’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly as he hiccuped out a laugh, “um, erm, I um”</p>
<p>“It’s just if you want to marry me, I’ll need to get in touch with the UN for my birth certificate.”</p>
<p>“I…” Daniel put his hands over his face and sat up, shoulders shaking with silent laughter, “I’m so sorry, Max. I, I um.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, we can get married if you want.”</p>
<p>“Maybe one day,” Daniel grinned, knocking his fist against Max’s shin, “you feel a bit better now? Now that I’ve made a tit of myself?”</p>
<p>Max hadn’t realised that as Daniel had been making jokes and laughing, he’d been doing the same back and actually, Max did feel better. His anxiety was still thrumming under his skin, it would be until Max got his medication in him and he got a hug from Kimi to know that he was actually okay, but Daniel had helped. </p>
<p>Daniel had always made Max feel better without Daniel even knowing it, and now he’d done it himself once. </p>
<p>The Daniel that Max had first met was shining through again. </p>
<p>He still had that same cheeky grin, the innocuous personality that made Max smile, the silly attitude that Max adored.</p>
<p>And most importantly, at least to Max, he still had that same laugh. </p>
<p>“Yeah I feel a bit better, thank you,” Max smiled and Daniel grinned.</p>
<p>“Good, I’m glad.” Daniel watched Max for a moment, smiling up at him in a way that Max had waited a <i>very long time</i> to see. </p>
<p>It was like for the first time, Daniel Ricciardo was seeing <i>him</i>. Max may be that awkward weedy kid who didn’t have friends and didn’t really know how to talk to people, but Daniel noticed him, properly noticed him. Had a <i>conversation</i> with him. </p>
<p>And Max was still so damn gone for him. </p>
<p>“Hey, Max?” Daniel whispered, and Max blushed when he realised he’d just been staring at Daniel for a really long time without saying anything.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“You’ve got a really nice smile.”</p>
<p>If it was possible, Max blushed even harder and he dropped his head, looking down at his hands where he was still fiddling with Daniel’s water bottle.</p>
<p><i>Daniel Ricciardo</i> thought he had a nice smile!!!!!!</p>
<p>Max might genuinely pass out. </p>
<p>He thought having a panic attack would be the most important thing that happened to him today, but nope. No. Nein. Nee. Ei.</p>
<p><i>Daniel Ricciardo</i> saying that he, Max Emilian Räikkönen-Vettel, had a nice smile was the most important thing that could possibly ever happen. Ever. </p>
<p>“This might be a bit weird,” Daniel carefully started to say, and Max flicked his eyes up to see Daniel now sat cross-legged at his feet and looking up at Max nervously. </p>
<p>Daniel Ricciardo got nervous?!  </p>
<p>“I think you’re really nice, Max, would it be okay if I got your number? I’d like to hang out with you again if you’re cool with that. And I’ve er, I’ve got a match next week and it’d be cool if you could come. Be nice to, you know, see you there.”</p>
<p>“Um, yeah, yeah that’s okay,” Max shakily agreed, pulling his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it as he passed it down to Daniel. His hands were violently shaking as he passed his phone to Daniel, and in much the same way that Max had felt electricity when his fingers had brushed with Daniel’s five years ago when they’d exchanged a pen, Max felt that same jolt of excitement in his skin. </p>
<p>Daniel held Max’s phone carefully as he put his number in, and then reached into his pocket to pull out his own phone. </p>
<p>“Here, you can put your number in then,” Daniel said. Max had to think for a moment before putting it in, as he, Charles, and Valtteri all had the same number except for the last two digits and Max was <i>not</i> running the risk of Daniel getting Charles or Valtteri’s number and not Max’s. Well, he probably already had Charles’. The two of them were kind of friends, after all, but still. </p>
<p>Max knew that Daniel was more likely to want to date someone like Charles than he was someone like Max, but even still. Max would at least like the opportunity to try and make friends with Daniel, to have him in his life in some capacity instead of resident whore Charles Räikkönen-Vettel sleeping with Daniel once before running off and creating more drama and causing Daniel to not care about Max ever again. </p>
<p>“Mr Ricciardo,” Mrs Williams came out of her office and was looking at the two of them, “are you annoying Max?”</p>
<p>“No, Miss, I’m just talking with him,” Daniel said, which Max quickly agreed. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m waiting for my Dad. We were just talking,” Max agreed, however Mrs Williams still looked at Daniel as though she didn’t quite trust him. “I promise, Miss. We were just talking whilst I wait for my Dad.”</p>
<p>“Hmm, well, no corrupting Max, Daniel. Max is our brightest student and he doesn’t need you getting him into trouble. Come on, anyway, let’s have a chat.”</p>
<p>Daniel rolled his eyes and stood up, taking his phone and water bottle from Max and handing Max his phone back, “I’ll text you later.”</p>
<p>“Okay, see you around,” Max smiled. He knew Daniel would probably forget by the time he was finished talking to Mrs Williams that he was going to text Max, but it was still nice that Daniel was making a small amount of effort. </p>
<p>It was nice feeling like you was going to have a friend around school. And Daniel was one of the nicest boys you could get to be friends with. </p>
<p>Max would still love it if he was lucky enough to be more than just a friend of Daniel’s, but when Max didn’t have any friends, he’d take anything he could. </p>
<p>You can imagine Max’s surprise when at twenty past five, just as Max was helping Kimi start to make dinner, his phone going off scared him. It scared him even more when he opened his phone to see the message came from <i>Daniel Ricciardo</i>. </p>
<p>Yep. Max was peacefully going to pass away now, this was just fucking <i>insane</i> to him.</p>
<p></p><div class="phone">
  <p class="messagebody">
<span class="header"> Daniel </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="time"><b>Today</b> 17:22</span><br/>
<span class="text"> Hi it’s Daniel Ricciardo. Hope you’re okay Max! </span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="breply"> Hi Daniel! </span><br/>
<br/>
</p>
</div><b>December 2019 </b><p>Max tightened his arms around Daniel’s neck as they danced in slow circles. </p>
<p>They were at Sebastian’s law function, Sebastian and Kimi busy socialising with other lawyers, chatting happily about how smart Max was, which universities Valtteri had applied to, what <i>chaos</i> Charles had been up to lately. Max could feel his fathers eyes digging into his back as Daniel twirled him around, but he didn’t care. </p>
<p>He’d been dating Daniel for two months and it was the two best months of Max’s life. </p>
<p>He’d never felt happiness quite like this.</p>
<p>Sure there’d been some ups and downs, and trying to get them both into agreement that they both understood what the other wanted from the relationship and what pace they were comfortable going with had been a bit of a hassle. Max had tried to throw himself into the relationship too quickly and he’d had a breakdown over sex, which was still a can of worms he didn’t want to open, but still. They were getting there and they’d made progress and they were <i>happy</i>. </p>
<p>They were so happy, Max couldn’t believe it. </p>
<p>Daniel Ricciardo was <i>Max’s boyfriend</i> and he liked him!</p>
<p>He honestly, truly liked Max. </p>
<p>He cared about him, text him all the time and made him smile in a way that Max had never felt before. </p>
<p>Daniel was just the most perfect boyfriend, and Max didn’t get it. Every single day felt like a dream and Max still expected to wake up and find out this was all a dream. That Daniel wasn’t his boyfriend, that Daniel didn’t know who he was, that Daniel wasn’t going to fall into Max’s bed with him tonight and hold him close and have a <i>sleepover</i> because they were going to get home late. Daniel was going to sleep in Max’s bed and Max was going to be allowed to fall asleep in Daniel’s arms and wake up in his arms tomorrow and wear Daniel’s hoodie and cook breakfast together and just be <i>happy</i>. </p>
<p>Daniel hadn’t taken his hand off Max all evening, forever either holding Max’s hand or having his hand on the small of Max’s back, smiling at him warmly and bragging about Max to anyone that would listen. </p>
<p>It didn’t seem real. </p>
<p>It didn’t make sense. </p>
<p>Max couldn’t make sense of the fact that this was his reality. </p>
<p>Daniel Ricciardo knew more than just Max’s name now. He knew how to make Max laugh, he knew what Max’s favourite dinner was, he knew what Max looked like when he was crying at a Disney move, he knew what Max looked like when he was trying to concentrate on his schoolwork and Daniel would slide his fingers under Max’s jumper to tickle his side and would laugh when Max smacked him away. He knew to kiss Max on his jawline just near his ear and whisper stupid things in his ear just enough to distract Max away from whatever he was doing so that he could coerce Max into making out with him instead of studying. </p>
<p>Daniel just knew Max. He knew Max better than anyone else ever had and <i>hopefully</i> ever would. </p>
<p>Daniel was just perfect, and Max couldn’t understand why he’d picked <i>Max</i> of all people to date. Daniel didn’t normally date, but for some reason he adored Max, and Max never had any plans to let go of him. </p>
<p>“Hey, Max?” Daniel whispered, pressing a kiss to Max’s head where it was resting against Daniel’s shoulder as they slowly danced around. Daniel had his arms around Max’s waist, holding him as close as they possible could. </p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p>“Can I tell you a secret?”</p>
<p>Max pulled back and nodded, looking at Daniel as his boyfriend stared back at him, “you can tell me anything, you know that.”</p>
<p>Daniel brought one hand up to cup Max’s jaw, rubbing his thumb across Max’s bottom lip before he tilted Max’s jaw up and kissed him softly, chasing the blush that climbed Max’s cheeks at the public display of affection, especially considering Max’s parents were still watching them. </p>
<p>“I love you.”</p>
<p>For a moment Max didn’t say anything, just stared at Daniel. </p>
<p>They hadn’t said ‘I love you’ yet. </p>
<p>Max had wanted to. He’d wanted to say it thousands of times. But he’d been so nervous that Daniel didn’t feel the same way. And it had only been two months. Was that too soon? Or was that just right? When was the right time to say ‘I love you’? Apparently two months in. </p>
<p>“Max?” Daniel said, swallowing nervously as Max stared at him, “I’m sorry, was that-”</p>
<p>Max didn’t know what Daniel was going to say, but he effectively cut him off, bringing his hands up to Daniel’s jaw and knocking Daniel’s hands off his so that he could slam their lips together and kiss him as hard as he physically could. </p>
<p>Their mouths moved slowly against each other as they kissed, holding each other close and pushing all their love into the kiss. </p>
<p>“I love you too,” Max whispered as they broke apart, “you just shocked me because I never expected you to love me. It just doesn’t seem real.”</p>
<p>“Believe me, I love you a hell of a lot, Max. I’ve wanted to say it for a while, I just, I was scared you didn’t feel the same.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been in love with you since I was ten years old, believe <i>me</i>, I feel the same,” Max giggled, leaning into Daniel and nuzzling their noses together. Max’s hands slid up to toy with the short hairs at the nape of Daniel’s neck, scraping his fingers back and forth as he looked up into the dark malt eyes of the boy he was in love with. </p>
<p>“Have you?” Daniel asked and Max nodded embarrassedly. </p>
<p>“I’ve been in love with you, kind of, I guess infatuated is a better word, since the day you started at Forests Primary. And then in year seven, when you was in year eight, you helped me find my classroom because I was lost, and I fell in love with you a little bit more because you was cocky and you didn’t wear your school uniform properly. And then in year ten, Charles told me you were bisexual before everyone else knew. I wanted to tell you then that I had a crush on you but I didn’t think someone like you could love someone like me. I wanted you to notice me, to just be my friend. I thought that’s all I’d ever get. Your laughter saved me more times than you could ever possibly imagine. And I love you for that,” Max explained, just to see Daniel’s eyes soften and his lips curl in a way that Max wasn’t sure if Daniel was about to start crying. </p>
<p>“Your mind is…”</p>
<p>“An evil place most of the time. It’s nice sometimes though. You’re one of my favourite things I remember.”</p>
<p>Daniel grinned and shook his head fondly, scoffing when tears did indeed start to fall. Max swiped his thumb over Daniel’s cheek, brushing the tears away before they could trace down Daniel’s cheeks. </p>
<p>“I love you, Max. Seriously. I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you more,” Max replied. </p>
<p>“No. Not possible. I love you more.”</p>
<p>“You’re not starting this shit,” Max warned him, just to see Daniel throw his head back and laugh loudly. </p>
<p>There was that beautiful laughter that Max <i>loved</i>. </p>
<p>Yeah, Max thought, being in love with Daniel Ricciardo really was everything he’d possibly hoped it would.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I will die for Daniel and Max. </p>
<p>also u can all thank pierregasiy on tumblr for that beautiful Jesus x Judas fanfic idea xx</p>
<p>Now I’m off to hide under a rock for two months as I write my thesis paper for the last of my degree at university. You probably won’t see much of me from now until the end of April, uni is really ramping up and as always, education comes first. So yeah, I am actually off to go and write my thesis on <i>university students perceptions of the police based on the police’s behaviour</i> and study study study. Pls pray for my brain and sanity x</p>
<p>See you soon luvs x</p>
<p>Kudos, comments &amp; feedback always greatly appreciated💙</p>
<p>Tumblr is at <a href="https://3303andmore.tumblr.com">3303andmore</a> xxx</p></blockquote></div></div>
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